Halo
Arrived yesterday from Philippines. Plane gave me jetlags. I don't really have the mood to update now. Anyway my mom and i were getting ready to sleep where she spoke to me. When she went to the CPF thingy and told her the amount she is getting and she told herself. What's the point of all that money when she doesn't have my dad to enjoy the money. And after that she went to Toa Payoh Central to eat the Steak's house where we always eat to celebrate something. She was eating the usual Black Pepper Steak asusal she couldn't finish she would always give my dad to finish up. Now she can't do it anymore.And she said she's so lonely and the money we recieved from all this we can't really touch cus it's the money that my dad put all his effort... When she said it to me i felt hopeless that i couldn't take away the emptyness she feels. These is why i don't really wish to be in Singapore right now. So many memories and it makes it harder to move on.Where in Philippines i have alot of people surrounding me. I even manage to dye my hair.For a new beginning. Well the new chapter is hard to start




My dad didn't make it for my 18th birthday.Which kills me. On the plane the event of my dad lying on the bed lifeless. Murders me. I seriously don't know what to do now. With my uncle in the house it still feels empty.He was one kind of a person. Super unique. Imagine for my Mom it's like super duper freaking hard. My dad is my mom first boyfriend. And she was super lucky to find him cus he brought her all the way to Singapore. Gosh. It seems i have move on and okey and all well i'm actually not.




Tomorrow is my Exam and my Phase Test. I doubt so that i will do well cus of all the things happending around me. Hard to focus. I want to do well but my brain isn't focus.I will be also goin back to Philippines on the 22nd July for my dad 40th days.Anyway i have to sleep early cus i have to wake early





Love always:
Jessica